After a lot of discussion and prayer, Noah and I have made the decision to move.  After the decision to move was made, the next decision was where?  Several options were tossed about in our talks, but what we decided was most important to us was staying close to family, or more precisely… staying close to where Noah would be able to grow up knowing what it means to be a Brandon.  This is very important to both of us.  Noah needs to know who his daddy was and what kind of man he was.  With all of this in mind, we finally settled on moving to Allendale, MI, the same town where Larry’s younger brother lives with his lovely wife and their three sons.  This is the best solution to an unhappy situation.

My house is a beautiful house.  We have totally remodeled the house cosmetically and it looks wonderful.  New triple pane windows with a transferable life-time warranty, same with the sliders and front door.  New oak floors through out, finished the basement, new cabinets, new appliances, & granite counters in the kitchen, new oak interior doors & trim… this house looks good…except for the clutter!  I need to box up the chachkis and knickknacks, I need to take the pictures off the walls (which I just finally got up before Christmas) and I need to get the unnecessary “stuff” out of here.  I’ve done this before – many times!  We’ve lived in this house 7 years, that is the longest that I’ve lived anywhere since High School graduation.  I know how to get a house ready to sell.  I just can’t get motivated.

Part of this may be due to health issues.  I’ve been dealing with kidney stones for the last month.  Part of may be due to grief issues.  I’m not sure.  The fact is that I want out of this house as much as Noah does, so why do I do nothing about it day after day?   I tell myself each morning exactly what I’m going to accomplish.  By noon I have to accept that I’m going to accomplish nothing.  I look at it, the stacks of stuff, and do nothing about it.  I can’t really blame it on needing to do it alone, I’ve had to do it alone before.  Larry was always busy supporting the family, and I packed up, de-cluttered and staged the house before I even knew what staging was to save money and get the house sold.  This feels different though.  Overwhelming.  I’ve never gone through the whole process completely alone.  I’m not sure what to do… where to start… how to begin.  I don’t have Larry to talk to about everything.  I have Noah and the dogs, they mess things up as soon as they are cleaned.  None of them pick up after themselves.

I don’t know how to do this.  I don’t know how to be single, I don’t know how to sell/buy a house by myself, and I don’t know how to find the motivation to do it.  Any suggestions?